


Not Nothing

by xswestallen



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Developing Relationship, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Missing Scene, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 03:42:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13355763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xswestallen/pseuds/xswestallen
Summary: On board the Falcon, Rey tells the remaining resistance about her time training with Luke and her attempt to turn Kylo Ren.





	Not Nothing

Rey sat cross legged on the floor of the overcrowded ship. Poe piloted the Falcon to the location of some resistance allies on the outer rim. Leia was in the passenger seat. Chewy stood next to her, stroking her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Finn leaned against the wall, unabashedly staring at where the unconscious Rose was being tended to by the medical team. 

"Master Skywalker warned me that this would not end the way I thought it would." Rey sighed as she finished recounting the story of her training on Ahch-To and her failed attempt to convince Ben Solo to turn back to the light.

"This is not you're fault, Rey." Leia assured her. Chewy roared in agreement.

Rey wished she could believe them. She couldn't look anyone in the eyes as she spoke, "I was so foolish."

"You are a good person, who believes that other people are good too. When you looked into Kylo Ren's heart you saw that there was conflict. To exploit that conflict and bring Ben Solo back would have been an enormous victory for the resistance." Leia paused. "And for my family." Tears threatened to fall but Leia clamped her eyes shut, refusing to allow them to escape. There would be time for mourning after the resistance safely reestablished a based near our allies. "But, the conflict was not as it appeared. He wasn't torn between the darkness and the light, but the power of Snoke and his own lust for power."

Rey knew that Leia was right. "Ben Solo is gone."

"He is." Leia said with a sorrowful nod.

"Have you known that, all this time?"

Leia pondered the question for a moment. She looked out the window into the infinity of space around her. "Yes." She concluded. 

Poe was shocked, he gaped at Leia. Rey picked up her head. Finn forgot about Rose and spun around to face the rest of the group. Chewy removed his hand from her shoulder. Everyone's attention was now on Leia. 

"I lied to myself for years. I denied what I knew to be true because as a mother, I couldn't cope with the fact that the son I knew was dead, replaced by a vile monster hellbent on destroying the light his parents worked so hard to protect."

"The same lies I told myself in the hopes of being with Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren." Rey whispered. Nobody heard her, and she was glad for that.

Poe broke the tension by asking Leia a navigational question. Rey used this as a distraction to run away. She hurried down the hallways of the Falcon and tried to find any nook of privacy she could. The resistance fighters had dwindled but they still overcrowded the ship, clearly designed for a smuggler who liked to be left alone.

Rey remembered her first time on the Falcon and how she hid underneath the floor with Finn to avoid Han's unfriendly old acquaintances. She decided to use the strategy now. She sat in the darkness listening to the footsteps of fighters above. 

Just as she started to relax in the isolation, the floor above her head opened. Finn's worried face greeted her. Rey smiled sheepishly, if there was anyone who might be able to make her feel better, it was Finn. He climbed down and sat beside her. 

For a while, neither said a word. Finn took Rey’s hand, she didn’t object. Rey leaned her head on Finn's shoulder. She closed her eyes and focused on the slight movement of his body as he inhaled and exhaled.

“Did he hurt you?' 

Rey's eyes flicked open. Finn was looking at her, she despised seeing him so anxious and knowing she was the reason for it. She wasn't thinking about the question, so she was taken by surprise when he whispered, "What did he do?"

Finn waited with baited breath for her answer, though he wasn't sure he was ready to hear it. 

Rey gulped. "He made me believe that I was underestimated by others. That, somehow, a random girl from nowhere was capable of turning the highest ranking member of The First Order."

Finn stroked her hair, pushing away a strand that obscured her face. 

Rey tried to laugh the whole off. "I must have been an easy target because I was niave enough to believe that I could be a jedi and bring Luke Skywalker back to the resistance."

Her silent shaking wasn't from laughter, but the tears she was choking back. Finn saw through her tough exterior. He pulled her in for a hug and she cried into his chest. For the first time in her life, she didn't feel embarrassed to be vulnerable in front of someone. She knew that Finn wouldn't take advantage of the weakness she showed. In fact, he didn't perceive it as weakness. 

"Rey, you did bring Luke Skywalker back to the resistance and before Kylo Ren struck him down, Luke called you a jedi."

"He did?" Rey gasped. She wiped the tear off her puffy cheeks.

"Well," Finn scratched his head. "Kylo Ren was saying how killing Luke would be killing the last jedi. Luke told him he was wrong because he, Luke, was not the last jedi."

Rey furrowed her brow in confusion. "How do you know he was talking about me?"

"It was implied."

Rey stared at Finn. He shrugged. Maybe it was the fatigue from all she'd been through in the last few hours, or maybe she was losing her mind, but Rey burst into a fit of laughter.

At first, Finn thought she was crying again. When he saw the broad smile on her face he was unsure of how to continue the conversation. "Ummmmm......" 

Rey clutched a stich in her side the hysterical laughing had caused. Her face hurt from smiling so much. She had forgotten what smiling like felt like. Rey gave Finn a nudge on the arm, he started laughing too. 

When she caught her breath, Rey felt serious again. "I missed you." She confessed to Finn. "I didn't know if you were going to be alright. It was touch and go for a while." Now, she felt overcome by guilt. The tears streamed back down her face. "I'm sorry I left you. I wouldn't have if I thought you would wake up while I was gone. I wanted to be there when you woke up, honestly. Leia told me to go find Luke. I was surprised she was trusting me with such an important task and I didn't want to disappoint-"

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't worry about it." Finn interrupted. He took her hand again, this time in both of his. He gave it an affectionate squeeze. "I'm ok."

Rey squeezed back. Finn frowned, worrying her. 

"What's the matter?" She asked.

Finn looked away. His heart pounded when he remembered dragging Rose back to the base after she saved his life. "I just-" He didn't know how to explain it to Rey. "I just have an idea of how you felt when I was hurt."

He hoped it was a vague enough statement to make Rey drop the subject, but her look was all too knowing. 

"What happened to the girl who's unconscious?" Rey tried to conceal the twinge of jealousy that was twisting her stomach in a knot.

"Her name is Rose. Me, her, and Poe came up with this plan, this stupid plan, to find this master codebracker, sneak onto Snoke's ship, and temporarily stop The First Order from being able to track us through our hyperspace jumps."

"Oh." Rey said. "Did it work?"

Finn snorted. "No. We got captured."

"But, you escaped."

Finn held up his hands and gestured to their surroundings. "Well, we're on the Millennium Falcon and we're alive. So yeah, we escaped."

Rey rolled her eyes. They laughed again. 

When she and Finn talked, it felt natural. It wasn't like other time when she was worried about to say or what people would think of her. This was her first experience with having a friend.

"Kylo Ren killed Snoke." Rey said, casually.

Finn's eyes widened. He gaped at her. "What?"

"He and I had some kind of connection through the force. Snoke said he created it, hoping that I would sense Kylo's conflict, go to him, and ultimately bring Luke to Snoke to be killed." Rey explained. "He tortured me. Kylo Ren was watching, I was begging him to realize that it didn't have to be this way. I guess it worked, because when Snoke ordered him to kill me, Kylo killed Snoke instead."

Finn was stunned. He knew of the intense bond that existed between Snoke and Kylo Ren, it was one he assumed would never be broken. He knew Rey was waiting for a response, but a head shake was all he could muster. 

Rey simultaneously hoped Finn would speak up and hoped he'd stay quiet. It took the same amount of courage to duel Kylo Ren in the forest as it did to admit the next part. "He wanted me to join him."

"Kylo Ren?"

"He told me that we should let the past die. The jedi, the sith, the resistance, The First Order, everything."

So consumed with talking to Finn, Rey had forgotten about her tears. When she placed her hand in her lap and felt the dampness the fallen tears caused, she thought about talking to Ben through the force on Ahch-To. She thought about the pouring rain as she angrily left Luke.

"He wanted me to create a new world order with him." Rey cried. "And I actually considered it."

Rey was ashamed of herself. It wouldn't have surprised her if Finn lurched away from her in revolution. She was a traitor. Instead, Finn caressed her face.

"Rey," He whispered. "Everyone has, at some point, been tempted by the darkness."

"Not you!" Rey pointed out. "You were kidnapped by The First Order. Essentially brainwashed into believing it when they told you that The First Order was good. You didn't have anyone to help you realize how wrong they were, you did that yourself. You created an opportunity to turn to the light even though you were never given one. It's because you're a good person, better than me."

One of her tears dripped on Finn's hand. He watched it as it ran down his arm. Flattered but unworthy of her praise, Finn shook his head.

"Kylo Ren had great parents, who loved him. They fought the Empire. He had countless opportunities to come back. Yet, he squandered every one." Rey said, angrily. "How could I think of joining him?"

"The important thing is that you didn't! You are a good person, Rey!" Finn reminded her. 

"I guess I got caught up in the dream of being more than the random, nothing girl that I truly am."

"You are NOT nothing!"

"I am!" Rey insisted. "I am and I've accepted it. My own parents didn't give a shit about me. Nobody has ever cared about me. I have never done anything remarkable in my life. Until recently, my days consisted of trading junk for food and waiting around for a family that would never come back for me. I have no place in this story. I'm not meant to stand alongside the heros of the resistance."

"There would be no resistance if you hadn't saved us all! Rey, you're the greatest hero in the resistance."

She ignored him. "Kylo Ren told me that I was something to him. That's what made me consider his offer."

"What I've come to accept is that it doesn't matter what you come from. The First Order, heros of the rebellion against the Empire, or Jakku. All that matter is what you end up doing."

Rey smiled at that.

"And," Finn continued. "Who you end up with."

Rey leaned forward slightly, in anticipation of a kiss. She felt embarrassed as soon as she saw that Finn had no intention of kissing her. Thankfully, he didn't notice. Finn looked up the ceiling (that was really the floor). 

"When we met, you looked at me like no one ever had. You gave me hope that I could do something good. So when I met Rose today, and she looked at me just like you did, with admiration of who she imagined I was. She fought with me and risked her life for mine." Finn said, still looking up.

The jealousy made Rey's insides feel like acid.

"When I went to help her, I asked why she would save me. I'll never forget her answer. She said it was because that's how we win. Not by destroying what we hate, but by saving what we love."

Rey took in Rose's words of wisdom. Till Finn's next sentence hit her like a slap in the face.

"She kissed me."

Rey didn't want her sudden, illogical rage to show. She tried to contort her face into a look of surprise but approval. Finn wasn't looking at her, so it didn't matter how horribly she failed.

"Then, I had to drag her lifeless body back to safety."

"That-That must've been- been hard" Rey stuttered.

"I feel guilty." Finn sighed.

"Why?"

Finn finally looked Rey in the eye. "Because, the whole time I was thinking about you."

Rey could hear her heart beating out of her chest.

"I've never been loved or felt love before, Rey. But, I think that's what this is. I'm not sure how we-"

Rey cut him off. Her lips collided with his. It was the first kiss either of them ever had. Finn felt like electricity was coursing through his veins. When their lips broke apart, they smiled at each other.

"I've also never been loved or felt love before." Rey told Finn. "But, I'm sure this is love."


End file.
